RIP

I'm dreaming of a white christmas
I sings these songs in harmony
I'm feeling empty and mistreat
Just because you're not here with me
I wonder how long it will take you
To finally make me free
Only to fall your prey and new
To a feeling of deeper dread
You are welcome but not to make me sad
I did invite you, don't feel guilty
Your faults are different and more hurtful
Because your reasons are unknown to me
I could have fought this by myself
It would have taken me my life long
In the bitter end, when looking back,
The ugliness would be the same
So why bother to ever feel love?
Why bother to ever even try?
I hate the pain, and I hate to cry!